I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
