lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
