my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
