So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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