get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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