I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Everything about him screamed your future.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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