yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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