fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
