so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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