I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
