did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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