I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
