What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
