did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
