Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
