Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
