Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
