UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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