Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
