I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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