im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize