did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
