There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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