Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize