so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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