he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
