my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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