I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
