Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
