it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
