i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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