Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
