if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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