The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
