This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
