In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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