Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
