So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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