I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
