This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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