This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
When are your genitals available?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
