WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
