How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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