it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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