How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize