I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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