Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize