yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
