I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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