No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
