That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
