Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
