Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
