but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The struggles of a small town man whore
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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