do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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