what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize