Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
