i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
