a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
