Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
