Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize