Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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