i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
