Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
