So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
