Midget sex pt 2 tonight
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
