Im at strip club and am horny
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
