this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
