So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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