In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize