Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
