if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
